Choosing to love
by Yourslavealways
Summary: Seras wishes her relationship with Alucard to be more but Alucard will not alow it to go farther unless she becomes a full vampire what will Seras's choice be become what she hates or die and leave behind her love. Alucard x Seras this is my first fan fic
1. Chapter 1 Drink up

Disclaimer- I do not own Hellsing though I wish I did because if I did there would be a lot more episodes coming out .

Chapter 1 Drink Up

Alucard had noticed that Seras had once again stopped to feed off the blood that the Hellsing organization had been providing her this had made her effectiveness in the field drop considerably and this angered Integra. She had ordered Alucard to make sure Seras drank the blood or she would be disposed of in the way they did all vampires, death. This was definitely something Alucard did not want after the death of Incognito he had grown closer to Seras but she grew farther away she hated this life she hated being a vampire she hated what Alucard had made her become at least that's what Alucard saw it as.

Seras sat at the edge of her coffin bed the top was up and her eyes were locked on a clear plastic bag sitting atop the table in her room the contents a dark red liquid the thing her lust craved her to take but her mind told her to reject. She grimaced at the thoughts that ran threw her mind image of her drinking down the red liquid like a savage ripping the bag apart and letting the content smear across her face she couldn't do it, it was inhuman but that's what she was inhuman, a vampire.

She finally managed to lift herself form the bed she could feel her weakness she had rejected the thing that kept her healthy her body seemed to weigh more know her every step felt like a thousand. She made her way slowly but surly to the table he hand moved to the bag picking it up her eyes scanned over it there color turning red with lust she quickly turned away letting a scowl of self disgust admit form her mouth. How could she have such disgusting thoughts running threw her mind this was human blood she couldn't just drink it, it was wrong.

_You must _echoed a voice in her head a deep voice it was that of her master, Alucard. _If you don't you will die, no worst you will grow week and begin to decay the pain will be overwhelming as you skin begins to melt it will be as if you were dead already but locked in your body to endure the time it takes for your body to be no more then bones. Then you will die, if you wish to go threw that then do as you please flush the blood down the toilet as I see you do every night, I will not stop you if this is the road you wish to take then don't waist the blood let me _"take it" the final part was his voice as his form entered his room he had phased threw her wall as he had done many times before.

Alucard walked up to her taking the bag of blood from her week hands he plummeted his fangs into it leaving two holes in the bag he began to drink the succulent liquid the taste filling his mouth as he drank he slowly lifted the bag up above his head letting the water flow of the red liquid fall into his mouth. All along Seras watched her eyes locked on the flow of the red liquid that she lusted to drink it was to much for her the sight of Alucard taking the blood she so longed to drink. Her eyes began to become deeper taking on a blood red color Alucard knew exactly what was happening he pinched the end of the bag it know only half full.

"Seras" he started looking down into her eyes that stayed locked on the bag know "is this what you want" he questioned showing her the bag that swung form his hands. She said nothing her eyes were locked on the bag as if in a trance but her answer was clear it was more then a need but a lust an addiction she couldn't crack. He moved his hands taking some of the liquid into his mouth she was to week to do it on her own know if she wanted to he would have to help her along.

With the liquid still in his mouth he leaned down his lips meeting hers her eyes widened her mind broke from the thought of blood this was actually something she wanted more Alucard her master she had always dreamed of his tender kiss. As he kissed her his tongue slipped into her mouth it tasted of blood and with it came the flow of blood that he had held in his mouth she couldn't pull away as he was force feeding her the red liquid she rejected so much but it tasted so good along with his soft lips.

After he had feed her the blood it was enough to make her healthy but not enough to sustain it he would have to make sure she drank a little each day she couldn't just have a full bag such a thing would have the same affect as if he had given someone who hadn't eaten in years a cheese burger there stomach wouldn't except it. With the final drop of blood exiting into her mouth he pulled away "know Seras if you do not drink your blood I will have to continue to force feed you I will not allow you to die." He said lightly and with that he slowly began to sink down into the ground phasing out of the room.

Seras almost fell back sitting on her bed her hand moved slowly up feeling her lips the kiss it was wonderful but he only gave it to her so that she would not die, but why did he care so much he never did before maybe her feelings for him weren't ignored maybe he felt something for her after all. Such a thought made her heart flutter and a slight smile cross her bloodstained lips her sadness had been absorbed in the kiss.

Alucard arrived in Integra's office he bowed a bit "I have done as you wished I'll make sure she has her blood daily, but she will not be in any condition to fight for some time." He said then standing straight up Integra nodded a bit "alright then that is all Alucard" He nodded and turned leaving the room simply walking threw the door.

Seras Laid down in her bed knowing that morning would com soon she taped the button and the coffin began to lower as his her bed closing her in she slid her eyes shut her thoughts still wondered Alucard's face imprinted on the back of her eyelids she fell asleep and slept peacefully. Alucard made his way down to his room walking threw the door into it he laid down in his own bed the same type as Seras had he tapped the button and the coffin slid closed and the bed lowered in he shut his eyes but as usual he never really slept rather though he waited till the next night.

By the time Dusk had came Alucard was awake he didn't leave the building but rather wondered around he knew he would have to make sure that Seras feed but he would do that in due time he knew that she wouldn't be awake usually until ten o'clock. Integra was in her office vampire attacks and sightings had been dropping since the death of Incognito leaving her a lot of time to herself she contemplated many things but a lot of her thoughts centered on Alucard. She knew that the chapter of the vampire was coming to a close Alucard and Seras were one of the few vampires that still existed, and once all the vampires that were still out free were disposed of the Vatican would wish that Alucard and Seras be disposed of.

Integra sighed a bit Seras would not be a problem but Alucard would he was powerful and would not allow his death to come and with him around he would not let Seras's death come ether. But even more she felt that she couldn't be part of killing Alucard he was under her control partially it was true but she had grow feelings for the vampire, the same vampire that she swore to one day kill.


	2. Chapter 2 Let it be more

Chapter 2 Let It Be More

Seras sat on the side of her bed silently night had came and she was up early her eyes fell upon the bag of blood that rested on the table in a bucket of ice. She didn't want to drink that vial liquid but she dearly wanted to feel Alucard's lips pressed on hers once again she hoped if she didn't do it on her own he would come and help her again. She was right in assuming this Alucard's corm appeared in her doorway his eyes fell upon her "will you be drinking your blood today Seras?" He questioned as he looked at her she stayed silent he knew that she didn't intend on drinking it and he didn't intend on letting her die.

He left the doorway walking across the room as he passed by the table he took the bag form the bucket holding it in one hand he stood in front of her. "If you will not drink then I will have to feed you again" he said lightly she didn't say anything and he knew he would have to fed her again. He lifted the bag to his lips biting down in it he took in a good amount of blood and leaned down to her his lips pressing firmly against hers once more he force feed her. This time though she kissed back she wanted this so badly her arms slipped around his neck he now knew it was not the blood that made her kiss back it was him.

He pulled back after only having given her half of the blood he had intended he knew what she wanted and he didn't intend on giving it to her, she was week in his eyes not even a true vampire this wasn't normal she was still a sierling and he was still her master. "Seras" he said lightly looking down at her she was disappointed that he broke up the kiss she waited for all day. He looked down into her eyes that were aimed down at the floor "you must choose do you wish to live as a sierling or a vampire" he questioned his eyes locked on hers. Her eyes still rested on the ground she didn't answer she knew what he was talking about but she took it differently did he want her gown? She knew that if she chose to be a vampire she would no longer be under his influence and he would no longer be her master.

"I know what you want Seras I will not have you" he said bluntly turning he drunk down the rest of the blood form the bag swallowing it "you must make your own choice I do not want you as a slave to my will." He said lightly, she knew what he meant by this he would only be with her if she became a vampire but if she chose that he would no longer feed her, she would have to do it herself she had to make a choice. Did she want to be with him enough to give up her humanity and become a creature that feeds on blood something she feared, or would she keep her humanity and let the one she knew she loved get away form her.

Alucard had left the room and went back to his own he would let her make her own choice if she did feel the way he thought she did then she would take his blood and become a full fledged vampire, but if she didn't then he would stop feeding her all together he would let her once more grow week and die." As much as he didn't want to see it happen he had to give her, her own choice just like he did when he asked if she wished to become a vampire in the first place.

Seras sat on the side of her bed still the taste of the blood he had given her still lingered in her mouth she loved the taste but she would never admit it her choices ran threw her head she could become a vampire, the thing she hated and life with him and maybe finally be with him or she could give up on this dammed life stop feeding all together and wait for her end to come. Integra all the while this had been happening was making her plans she couldn't give the order for her men to kill Alucard she didn't want to see him dead and he doubted they would even be able to kill him, but as for Seras was week and had only recently been getting blood she was a prime target so that is who she told Walter, The Angel Of Death to eliminate.


	3. Chapter 3 A sad old man

Chapter 3 A sad old man

Walter slowly walked down the hall he was told by Integra to kill Seras though he didn't know if he could fallow threw with this mission she was part of the team and as friends they had grown close. He kept telling himself as he walked that she was just another vampire, another mission though he knew it would not be easy the worst case Alucard would come back form his mission soon and catch him he knew he would have no chance against him, and even if he was to finish the mission he would be dead if Alucard found out it was him that killed Seras.

There was so much on the Old mans mind as he walked down that dark hall alone ahead of him was a door leading into Seras's room. He stopped looking down at the handle of the door as he did so a tear formed at his eyes and slid down his wrinkled old face. His hand covered in its usual black leather glove griped the handle as he turned the knob he heard someone inside stir a bit.

Seras was awake she wasn't able to get to sleep after Alucard left her she had many things in her mind her feelings for Alucard her feelings about becoming a true vampire so many things crossed her mind. She snapped out of her thoughts as she heard the door handle turning _Alucard_ she thought as she waited to see who it was there was no need everyone in this building would just let themselves in when they pleased.

When the door opened and she saw Walter standing there she smiled a bit she needed someone to get her mind of Alucard "hey Walter" he said lightly "what you doing down here?" She questioned but he didn't answer her question the thin line of wires could be seen by her keen eyes she flinched at the sight "Are we under attack" she asked standing form her bed quickly. "I'm sorry" was his only replied to what she said as he stretched his hands out looking at her threw the frames of his glasses resting on the edge of his nose.

"For wh-" she was interrupted as she felt the cold wire cut into her stomach ripping into her skin her blood spilling across the wire and her clothes as he did this here eyes widened. As the wire pulled away she grabbed her stomach she was weak form not drinking her blood and Alucard was out on a mission she was helpless against his attacks. She hit her knees clenching her stomach her vision was already getting blurry as she looked down at the ground all she saw was a Tear falling from Walters's cheek as she passed out.

When Seras awoke she was laying back on her bed she was wearing no shirt which instantly caused her to cover her chest though she was still wearing a bra. As she did this she felt a sharp pain go threw her body looking down at her stomach she was wrapped in bloody bandages. She then remembered what had happen Walter one of her only friends had attacked her she looked around the room but didn't see a sign of Walter or of the marks of a fight though once she took a good look she noticed this was not her room and not her bed it was Alucard's.

She blushed a bit as she inhaled the room smelled of his sweet scent though it was more like blood and sweat it was sweet to her. She looked around there was no signs of him being in the room then a voice echoed in her head _Seras please rest you were cut up pretty bad you must drink blood if you wish to survive this wound there is a bag besides your bed._ The voice then stopped as she glanced over her bed she didn't want to drink it but she didn't want to die not know not before she could find out her feelings for Alucard. She reached over the edge of the bed bringing the bag to her lips she pierced it with her fangs and took in the red liquid that filled her mouth and pleased her lust she continued to drink till there wasn't a drop left in the bag.

Alucard had stormed into Integra's office angered "How could you send Walter to kill Seras" he questioned angrily his fangs elongated he was not happy to say the least. "I have no idea what you are talking about such an order was never given" Integra replied without a flinch. Alucard growled a bit as he smashed his hand into the wall leaving a large hole "lies!" He said as he glared at her she replied quickly "I do not know why Walter attacked Seras but he's dead now you killed him a direct violation of order you killed a human." She said her arms resting against the table on there elbows her hands in a two handed fist in front of her mouth.

Alucard ignored her statement and turned leaving the room instead of phasing threw the door as he usually wood he pushed on it with all his strength launching the doors form there hinges as he walked down the hall. He headed down the hall down a flight of steps heading for his own room.


	4. Chapter 4 Choices

Chapter 4 choices

It had been two days since Seras was attacked her wound healed since she was drinking her blood though she didn't drink a lot though it was enough to please Alucard. She sighed a bit as she sat outside of the building near the steps looking up at the night sky a red moon she remembered how Alucard had always said nights of a red moon was the best night to feed maybe it was a sign of the choice she should make. She sighed a bit more ignoring it looking down at the grass slightly wet from the rain they had during the day when she slept. She was thinking back to every choice she ever made right know she remembered the day when Alucard first bit her she couldn't remember why she let him was it because she feared dieing cold and alone that's what she thought it was she chose this life over death. She shook her head she didn't do it just to live it was something about him a sense of safety around him that she couldn't shake off.

She sighed standing biting her lip a bit she thought she had the right choice in mind if she chose to not become a true vampire then he said he would stop giving her the blood that kept her alive. But know she truly knew she didn't want to die not if it meant leaving him behind she couldn't do it. She sighed she went back into the mansion back down the cold steps and into her room she had questioned Alucard on why Walter attacked her but he never gave an answer he seemed angry at the question so she ignored it and put the attack out of her mind. Though it was that sense that moment when she thought she had died and she would never see Alucard that she knew she had to stay with him.

Alucard heard her return he hadn't left his room often lately he was waiting for her to make a decision as to the question he had provided her those few days ago he remembered the feeling as he saw her bleeding on the ground coughing up blood she looked dead and it scared him before he knew it he had killed Walter for what he had done without a second thought he protected her. He hoped she made the right choice he could always force her to drink her blood and to become a full vampire but that wasn't what he wanted he wanted her to be with him as a vampire of her own free will.

Integra sat in her office her attempt to kill Seras had failed Alucard had protected her just as she thought would happen at least Walter got what he wanted to die fighting a vampire but she knew he didn't want to die trying to kill a friend. She pushed the thought that she sent Walter to his death out of her mind he knew it would one day happen but it didn't make it any better for know she had to find a way to rid herself of those vampires maybe the Paladin could help in such a pursuit. What ever her choice she had to act fast before Seras became a full vampire but that wasn't in her mind she thought that weakling would ever make that choice she would be to afraid.

Seras saw the bad of blood sitting nicely in a bucket full of ice she stood and walked over to it taking it out of the bucket she sighed a bit as she watched the liquid toss and turn in her hands she dropped it into the bucket and left her room quickly.

A/N- Sorry this chapter is so short I have had lots of things to do lately this is really wrapping things up I'll try to write more soon. .


	5. Chapter 5 warning lemon

**Chapter 5 Final Decision**

Seras paused as she stood in front of his room the door was closed and she knew he was just behind it probably sitting on his bed as he usually did all night unless there was a mission he had to be sent out to do. She slowly lifted her hand with a bit of hesitation she thought to herself 'Come on this is what you want, do it knock he's behind this door waiting for you!' she took a deep breath as she knocked on the door firmly but still with a bit of hesitation.

Alucard already knew she was standing behind the door long before she knocked he stood from his bed walking over to the door he gripped the handle and turned the knob opening the door to see her standing looking up at him. She looked up into his eyes then down at the ground "I… I want to become a vampire a… full vampire." she said as she then looked up into his eyes. Alucard smiled a bit he couldn't help it but for him every smile looked like a evil one she shrunk a bit under his gaze she looked down again "Th.. that's if you'll still have me" she added a bit more skittishly.

He let his jacket slide off of his body and fall on a heap on the ground he leaned down a bit pulling his shirt at the neck to the side a bit "Show me that you're ready" he said lightly presenting his neck leaning his head to the side a bit to let her decide. She stared down at his neck for a minute he was down on one knee and his neck was now right at level with her mouth she leaned in a bit her body pressing against his as she opened up her mouth her tongue licked along her teeth subconsciously as she moved her fangs grazing across his skin as she bit down into his neck.

She felt his warm blood rush into her mouth and as she took in the sweet flavor she began to change, her hands moved around her nails growing and cutting into the skin on his back as she took in his blood her hair grew longer her eyes became a darker more piercing red and her fangs grew a bit while still inside him, Lastly her breasts became fuller rounder and more sensitive. She had new found strength that would rival his but as all these changes occurred she found a hidden lust inside her needing satisfaction she had taken enough blood and knew it as she pulled back her hands gliding over his chest slowly.

"Alucard" he spoke lightly as her hands glided over his chest covered by the shirt he wore she hesitated a bit as she spoke "will you have me now?" she questioned in a light tone. Alucard grinned a bit he was a vampire of few words so he let his actions show her acceptance. He kissed her gently on the lips she kissed him back but the kiss was slowly lost as he moved kissing down her neck slowly he kissed down to her shoulder then back up he let his tongue trail over her skin as he then bit down taking in her blood. She leaned her head back as he bit down whimpering a bit in the slight pain the took her but it was all so tenderly done that it felt more pleasurable.

Alucard smiled a bit more as he licked the small wound were each of his fangs had gown leaving behind a mark, one that showed that she was his. He trailed his kisses back up her neck catching her lips in another passionate kiss as he backed her up against a nearby wall.

His kisses were strong and lustful as he pressed his body against hers separated only by there clothes as he kissed down her neck she leaned her head back against the wall letting out soft moans of ecstasy. His kisses moved down her neck slowly kissing every spot but soon he reached the edge of her shirt his hands moved up unbuttoning the uniform she wore as he still kissed the same spot leaving her helpless as he slid her shirt down and off her body.

His voice was lustful as his tongue licked her neck "you look beautiful" he said with a grin as he looked down her bra the only thing covering her chest he didn't take the time to reach around her and unhook it he let his claw snap it at the center and letting it fall to the ground. He smiled as he took in a whiff of her scent smelled of the blood she had been finally taking of his body and her sweet scented perfume. She continued to emit sounds of pleasure as Alucard trailed his kisses from her neck down her collar bone as he tenderly kissed her skin he reached her chest his tongue extended out licking her nipple wrapping around it they hardened with pleasure on contact as she finally pulled him in "Alucard take me" she begged.

He grinned as she said this he quickly unbuckled his shirt letting it drop to the ground as he then moved to unbuckle her pants as he did this she moved unzipping Alucard's pants and sliding them down from his body quickly as she could she looked down at his boxers the bulge was apparent it was more then apparent it was huge. A blush came over her face as she saw it but such things didn't stop Alucard he slid her belt out and had her pants off quickly his hand moved to rub the outside of her panties noticing she had stopped he whispered lightly "Like what you see?" he said with a grin.

She snapped out of it finally looking up at him she smiled a bit as well nodding not able to really speak as of know. Alucard just grinned "good" he spoke lightly it was obvious Alucard was experienced to say the least he had laid with many of maidens but none was like her none actually mattered to him like she did he knew this would be her first and he was going to be gentle with her virgin tenderness.

As he kissed her neck he moved her across the room soon he had backed her into his bed he slowly laid her back on it kissing her the whole way down that he traveled with her. His kisses once more traveled down her neck her collar bone, and down her chest slowly he was kneeling at the edge of the bed in front of her, her legs dangling off this side. He grinned as she blushed looking down at him his mouth moved biting the edge of her panties but not touching her skin he slid them down slowly with his mouth as he looked up at her with lustful eyes. He grinned a bit as he saw her exposed flesh, her virgin spot show to him he moved in closer his long tongue extending down them moving out he licked over her pussy as he held onto her waist he moved in closer licking her more each time. His tongue began to push inside her licking her still with his lust filled eyes aimed up at hers as she laid her head back moaning out and huffing her breaths shorter. She moaned out loudly "God Alucard please just take me I need you inside me."

Alucard grinned as his tongue slid back into his mouth enjoying the taste he had on its end he moved back up slowly teasing her kissing up her body as he reached her lips he placed a passionate kiss as his boxers slid down and off revealing his hard length. She blushed once again as she saw it he moved it to the entrance of her pussy she nodded a bit as he looked down at her then slowly entering her. She let her head lean back as she knew that she would soon feel pain as he stripped her of her innocence and she did she cringed a bit but soon her pain turned to pleasure as Alucard pumped in and out of her body slowly at first but soon gaining speed, his tongue trailed over her lips and her neck tender kisses placed all over her body where ever he could reach. He never seemed to stop his stamina unbelievable he had reached climax after climax at his hands unable to keep up with the raising numbers.

She gasp and moaned her voice loud and breath hardened huffing out breathless as he still yearned for more yet his brink approaching. With Seras moaning out one last time and the grunts of alucard he reached his final climax shooting inside her filling her with his seed. She gasped feeling his thick seed filling her to the bring her body was exhausted yet Alucard didn't even seem to flinch with tire as he licked her lips kissing her gently. "tonight and from now on you are mind, You are no longer my slave yet my Queen, Queen of the red moon." He whispered to her licking the wound on her neck already healed.


	6. Chapter 6 Leaving the Orginization

**Chapter 6 Leaving the Organization **

The next morning came with a glimpse of light as the lamp turned on Seras felt a chill she could not feel Alucard beside her, immediately alarmed her eyes darted around the room trying to find her love. He was nowhere insight and she sighed, she could smell him as she rested in what was his room content with his smell wafting she stayed in bed longer then usual.

Alucard was upstairs in sir Integra's office, "No I will not have this" She yelled pounding her hands down on her desk. Alucard didn't even flinch standing in the middle of the office, "It is already done Integra" he said calmly watching her hardened figure. "I though better of you Alucard to choose a sierling as a mate; you know that is not her free will, she is but a slave." Alucard smiled "I do not know of any sireling in this house sir Integra" he said with a bi more of a grin Integra froze "you mean?" "yes she is a true walker of the night and Queen of the moon, you will allow my request, and you will not stop me." He said turning his back to her, she stood up pulling open her desk drawer, "Alucard you know I am not allowed to let you just walk away from Hellsing, not alive." Alucard looked back "Then try and stop me" he said as he moved his hands together pulling his gloves off the ones with the Hellsing insignia on them, his restraints. "Such old and fragile magic's no longer work on me Integra we are leaving tonight" he said calmly as his form slid into the ground.

Seras was now more awake sitting on Alucard's bed she sighed lightly as she was worried were her lover was she ran a hand threw her hair it was longer then looking down at her sharper nails she smiled. Remembering last night his passionate kiss and delicate yet taunting hands it was all so perfect in her mind. She glanced to the door her senses more aware of the presence on the other side "come in" she said lightly even though there was no nock.

Alucard turned the knob walking inside he looked over at her on the bed a mix of anger and pain in his eyes, "Seras we leave at dusk" was all he simply said as he moved sitting down on the bed, even sitting he was much taller then her. "What is it" she asked looking over at him though she knew he was not a talkative one, yet he responded though not the way she wanted "it is of no concern but we are baggage to this organization and they are intending to remove us, that will not happen."

Seras looked down "then was Walter really sent to kill by Integra's order?" She questioned her hands balled into fists "why Alucard do we have to run from them, can't you make Integra pay?" Alucard sighed "it was not just her choice she knows she can not let us live whether she likes it or not it is in her blood and in her best to kill us but we will not die I will not let us die."

Seras nodded "I better pack my stuff then" she said just grabbing her large gun before hand it felt like a weight even though that weight was 10 times less what it actually was with her new strength it was like a feather as she turned back to him she asked, "were will we go then?" He just smirked "vampires have but one safe place in this world one I've kept hidden from Integra's eye."

The two left out the window of the Hellsing home at dusk leaving no sounds behind or trace of there path. It wasn't till mid day that Integra got the word to be honest many of her men the ones that saw and heard of his leaving were scared of her reaction and reluctant to tell. "Umm Sir Integra" one of her men said lightly standing at attention, she glanced up "yes stand down what is it?" She asked "umm well" the man stuttered before she interrupted "Yes just spit it out already!" "Sorry, sorry… Alucard, he's gone and so is Seras." She looked up at him "what do you mean gone? I told you to do a very simple job how hard is it to stop a vampire under the Hellsing mark you know the words…" She said angrily "no matter I'll just summon him he can not evade the call" "wait Integra there's one thing he left these on his bed" he said holding up the white sealing gloves. "Integra growled slightly "damn…"

"The night is young Seras, you are a true vampire now I suggest you experience your first true drink" he said with a grin, "it has been decided the day of the Nosferatu has returned" He said with his signature menacing grin. She sighed lightly and nodded knowing what he meant to drink form a live human that was the way of the vampire "alright mas… Alucard" she said lightly. Alucard could still feel and sense her discomfort such things he wished she could leave behind in her human life, though he could never understand he had lost all his humanity to be the monster he is today.

Integra's gloved hand picked up her phone ringing once the other line answered "he is out of my hands now release the subject and… kill Alucard" was all she said before hanging up a saddened face as she did so.


End file.
